Conversation is central to most dates, and plays a particularly important role on a first date, when the other person probably doesn't know you all that well. The best technique for dating conversation with someone you're just getting to know is to find a happy medium between the boring and the excessively controversial. Listening more than you talk is also important.
Current Events
Bringing up things that have been happening in your town or in the news is often a productive way to begin a conversation. It is an area where you and your date will stand on an equal footing, and will also give you some idea of how aware of the world she is. Very contentious issues are probably best avoided until you know your date somewhat better, but at the same time, don't just talk about the weather. Read the papers and watch the news the day before your date; if your date turns out to be a news hound, you will want to be prepared.
Work
Many people begin to get to know each other by talking about their work. Tell your date something about what you do for a living, then spend some time listening to him about what he does. You will probably sense very quickly whether he likes his work or not. If he appears to hate his job, let the conversation move on to something else, since talking about something you hate will quickly cast a pall over the evening. If either of you are unemployed, talk about work in a more general sense, such as what you would like to do, or any educational plans you have.
Dreams
Talking about dreams might strike you as strange, but it can create an intimacy between people. You can talk about daydreams and dreams in the sense of grand future plans, or the kind that you have while you are sleeping. Many dreams are strange and surreal, and discussing them can create an exclusive, intimate atmosphere between the two of you that is conducive to romance. However, if your date has recently had a traumatic nightmare, this subject may backfire.
Things To Avoid
Some of the subjects that are most important in people's lives are, ironically, best avoided during a date, particularly a first or second date. Politics, religion and sex top this list. Discussing politics may reveal differences of opinion that are not that significant in the context of a life, but that may assume exaggerated proportions in the context of getting to know someone. Religion is a sensitive issue for many people, and should come up naturally later in the relationship, rather than being presented as a topic of conversation. Bringing up sex on a first date is perilous for obvious reasons. All of these rules, of course, are flexible, depending on what kinds of people you and your date are, and what kind of energy or chemistry is flowing between you.
Current EventsBringing up things that have been happening in your town or in the news is often a productive way to begin a conversation. It is an area where you and your date will stand on an equal footing, and will also give you some idea of how aware of the world she is. Very contentious issues are probably best avoided until you know your date somewhat better, but at the same time, don't just talk about the weather. Read the papers and watch the news the day before your date; if your date turns out to be a news hound, you will want to be prepared.
Work
Many people begin to get to know each other by talking about their work. Tell your date something about what you do for a living, then spend some time listening to him about what he does. You will probably sense very quickly whether he likes his work or not. If he appears to hate his job, let the conversation move on to something else, since talking about something you hate will quickly cast a pall over the evening. If either of you are unemployed, talk about work in a more general sense, such as what you would like to do, or any educational plans you have.
DreamsTalking about dreams might strike you as strange, but it can create an intimacy between people. You can talk about daydreams and dreams in the sense of grand future plans, or the kind that you have while you are sleeping. Many dreams are strange and surreal, and discussing them can create an exclusive, intimate atmosphere between the two of you that is conducive to romance. However, if your date has recently had a traumatic nightmare, this subject may backfire.
Things To Avoid
Some of the subjects that are most important in people's lives are, ironically, best avoided during a date, particularly a first or second date. Politics, religion and sex top this list. Discussing politics may reveal differences of opinion that are not that significant in the context of a life, but that may assume exaggerated proportions in the context of getting to know someone. Religion is a sensitive issue for many people, and should come up naturally later in the relationship, rather than being presented as a topic of conversation. Bringing up sex on a first date is perilous for obvious reasons. All of these rules, of course, are flexible, depending on what kinds of people you and your date are, and what kind of energy or chemistry is flowing between you.
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