The question of whether you can put a timespan on grief is especially pertinent for Michelle Heidstra.
Just four weeks after her husband died, Michelle fell in love with his best friend, Adrian McCollin, a pall bearer at the funeral.
They are now engaged to be married. Their relationship is testament, says Michelle, to just how much she loved her husband, Jon.
While she says that finding solace with another man has helped her to deal with her devastation, some may feel uncomfortable about a widow embarking on a new love affair only a month after her husband's death.
Jon's mother, Val, has been so hurt by her daughter-in-law's behaviour that she has cut off all contact. Even Michelle's close friends have snubbed her.
Yet she is not alone in seeking romance soon after losing her husband.
Earlier this month Barbara Want, the widow of broadcaster Nick Clarke, revealed in the Mail how she began a relationship with a new man just five months after the death of her husband from cancer, but admitted she struggled hugely with feelings of guilt as a result.
Golfer Darren Clarke found happiness with a new partner just four months after the death of his wife Heather from breast cancer, while Nigella Lawson moved in with Charles Saatchi nine months after losing her husband John Diamond.
And Michelle, a 41-year-old trainee nurse, believes that the bereaved deserve the right to happiness.
'Of course, I understand why people might be scandalised,' she says quietly. 'But how can you make rules with people's emotions? We all love and grieve differently.
'I adored Jon and was bereft when he died. I didn't for a second imagine falling in love again - ever. And I certainly didn't go looking for it.
'At first Jon's friend, Adrian, was just a link to Jon. I turned to him for comfort and support. But when your emotions are so raw, inhibitions fall away. I'm not hard-hearted - far from it. I have never stopped grieving for Jon. But that doesn't rule out a new love.'
Just four weeks after her husband died, Michelle fell in love with his best friend, Adrian McCollin, a pall bearer at the funeral.They are now engaged to be married. Their relationship is testament, says Michelle, to just how much she loved her husband, Jon.
While she says that finding solace with another man has helped her to deal with her devastation, some may feel uncomfortable about a widow embarking on a new love affair only a month after her husband's death.
Jon's mother, Val, has been so hurt by her daughter-in-law's behaviour that she has cut off all contact. Even Michelle's close friends have snubbed her.
Yet she is not alone in seeking romance soon after losing her husband.
Earlier this month Barbara Want, the widow of broadcaster Nick Clarke, revealed in the Mail how she began a relationship with a new man just five months after the death of her husband from cancer, but admitted she struggled hugely with feelings of guilt as a result.Golfer Darren Clarke found happiness with a new partner just four months after the death of his wife Heather from breast cancer, while Nigella Lawson moved in with Charles Saatchi nine months after losing her husband John Diamond.
And Michelle, a 41-year-old trainee nurse, believes that the bereaved deserve the right to happiness.
'Of course, I understand why people might be scandalised,' she says quietly. 'But how can you make rules with people's emotions? We all love and grieve differently.
'I adored Jon and was bereft when he died. I didn't for a second imagine falling in love again - ever. And I certainly didn't go looking for it.
'At first Jon's friend, Adrian, was just a link to Jon. I turned to him for comfort and support. But when your emotions are so raw, inhibitions fall away. I'm not hard-hearted - far from it. I have never stopped grieving for Jon. But that doesn't rule out a new love.'
